NGUPLUS: funny

Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts

Monday, March 6, 2017

Funny Monkey Just Like Underworld DON

Watch Now

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Funny Reply From A No Show Candidate

Hi Recruiters,

You must have come across funny candidate replies with bad English many times. Here is one:

Enjoy!!

Hi _______,

This is ____ _____, I am extremely Sorry for not able to attend the interview yesterday at ____ . Actually I am going to attend the interview but unfortunately I had met with an accident near Hitech city Cyber towers and not able to attend the interview yesterday. I am not in a position to go for the interview at that time, because my Dress was torn and totally spoiled and my legs are bleeding with blood.

If possible please schedule it by this weekend

Once again i am sorry.

_____ _______

Wren and Martin must be crying with tears somewhere. ;)

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Funny Loins

Loins are playing with his Friend.

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Funny Ideas

Ive been scheming and dreaming about more decor for the house. Naturally. As I do.

Anyway, our bedroom is far from done, and I cant wait to get it to a more finished state. This house is hard for me - its so much larger than our last space, that it takes more time to fill and furnish, and as Ive stated before, its naturally more expensive, so the process is a little bit slower. Its always fun, though. One challenge Ive encountered in the space, is the high ceilings. I love them, but it creates such a large space to fill, visually, and in our bedroom, the ceiling arches really high! Heres a photo:

Right now, its basically leftover stuff from the condo, with a couple of purchases we made right when we moved in. The sofa is the one that I bought for $25 and reupholstered in white duck canvas, (it was the sofa from our condo) and the king size bed was one of the first large purchases we made when we first moved in. We love it, but let me tell you - its hard to dress a king size bed. Theyre just not as cozy looking, and take more pillows (Something I try to avoid, because I know Jordan isnt the biggest fan of my pillow obsession).

I have removed the sconces that I wasnt the biggest fan of, and replaced the ones on the left side with these cuter ones from Lowes:

They are only $35 and really cute. The other side of the room (where the beds are) has plates covering the spot where the light fixtures were. I know - not the cutest solution, and not my first plan, but after talk with an electrician about all the work that would have to be done to safely remove and cover the spot where the old sconces were, I just decided to remove them myself, and use plates to cover. They actually blend in quite well after painting them.

you can see the sconce on the other side of the room in this photo, and there is one on the other side of the bathroom wall, to the left, as well.

Anyway, I want to paint the walls, which Ive discussed before. I want to do a weird, odd color. Two colors I have in mind: inky dark blue-green, or a fleshy peach. I know, weird.

I just think this room needs some edge. Here are some inspiration photos for the peach:

I dont want it to be pink - I want it true peachy, almost a neutral and understated color. NOT PINK.

Donald Kaufman DK-27

Via pinterest... this is what I mean about soft and neutral. Not pink not peach not beige. Somewhere in the middle of all of those.

From Caitlin Creers website. Clearly, this room is super feminine and not the style Im going for, but I think the walls are pretty.

I imagine mine with brass accents and wooden night stands.

from pinterest, too. This one doesnt have a link, so if you know where it came from, tell me. I love the top row here.

Anyway, I think it could be really beautiful with some modern accents. Plus, I think painting the room would help with my all white couch and my white bedding. Break it up a little.

INspiration for a dark color. Though, now that I think about it, I Think Im leaning towards a lighter color. With those high arching ceilings, I think dark might be too much.

via elledecor.com

via gq.com

woof, but those bright colors sure do look good against the dark walls!

via theprettyblog.com

THIS IS THE PERFECT COLOR. exactly what color I was thinking.

Anyway! I love these two ideas. If I do peach, Im thinking the ceiling needs to be painted, too. Whichever color I do in the bedroom, Ill probably do the other one in the guest bedroom. I cant wait to decorate it, either!

Thoughts? I know these are weird ideas, and some of you wont like them. I just need some edge in that room! Its far too boring right now, and too predictable. I have dreams of cool turned leg tables on either side of our bed, and Ive been on the hunt for a few months, but havent found them yet.

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Funny SMS VeG

Suraj Woh Jo Din Bhar
Aasman Ka Saath De, Chand
Woh Jo Raat Bhar Taaron Ka
Sath De, Pyaar Woh Jo Zindagi
Bhar Saath De, Aur Biwi Woh
Jo Har Baat Ka Ulta Jawab De.

............................

Ye Kis Tarah Yaad Aa Rahe Ho,
Aankhe Band Hai Fir Bhi Nazar Aa Rahe Ho,
Na Jaane Kyu Aisa Lagta Hai,
Saamne Khare Ho,
Aur Singh Hila Rahe Ho.

.......................

Girl: Jaanu, Mujhe Kisi,
Mehnghi Jagah Pe Ghumane Le Chalo Na
Boy:chal,taiyaar Ho Ja.
Pehle Petrol Pump Fir Gas Agency,
Baad Me Sabji Mandi Chalenge.

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Funny Take on Interview Mistakes!

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Funny Computer Jokes

Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer: A white one…

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Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can’t get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it’s really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn’t sound good; I’ll make a note.
Customer: No, wait a minute… I hadn’t inserted it yet… it’s still on my desk… sorry….

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Tech support: Click on the ‘my computer’ icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?

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Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello… I can’t print.
Tech support: Would you click on “start” for me and…
Customer: Listen pal; don’t start getting technical on me! I’m not Bill Gates.

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Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can’t print. Every time I try, it says ‘Can’t find printer’. I’ve even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can’t find it…

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Customer: I have problems printing in red…
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah………………..thank you.

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Tech support: What’s on your monitor now, ma’am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.

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Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it’s plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can’t get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back
Customer:! OK
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there’s another one here. Ah…that one does work…

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Tech support: Your password is the small letter “a” as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?

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Customer: can’t get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I’m sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.

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Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That’s not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry…Internet Explorer.

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Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.

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Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I’m writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter ‘a’ in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?

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A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: “No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine.”

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And last but not least…

Tech support: “Okay Bob, let’s press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter “P” to bring up the Program Manager”
Customer: I don’t have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: “P”…..on your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: I’M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!