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Wednesday, February 15, 2017

Gavin and the Not Real Girl

Sometimes, I think I am not a real girl.

(I mean, Im like, totally an actual girl- I have had babies and everything. Ask Gavin. He knows.)

But, Im referring to Girlness. I recently met a large group of cosmetic salesgirls. (Im not sure of the collective noun for a group of cosmetics girls, but I think its a Shimmer. A Shimmer of Cosmetics Salesgirls.) They were all so beautiful and made up and perfect looking. And I couldnt help but think- that looks like a LOT of work. I am waaaay too lazy to be that fabulous.

It started me thinking- what other girly things do I not do?

SO, here we go....

- I pretty much never spend more that 10 bucks on any piece of clothing. Whether it be thrifting or bargain shopping in chain stores, I just dont see the point in spending a crap load of money on clothes. I love clothes and accessories, dont get me wrong, and I totally look awesome ALL THE TIME.....but Im also a real tight wad. Tight Wad wins.

- Ive had my eyebrows waxed maybe three times in my life. I have never had anything else waxed. Life can be annoying and painful enough without torturous hair removal.

- I am well renowned and critically acclaimed in the field of burping.

- I dont really care about the makeup I buy. As long as I have a foundation, a mascara, some blush and a black eyeliner, Im good to go. I do love my Maybelline mascara (the pink and green one- been buyin it for years) but other than that, Ill just buy whatever. Usually whatevers cheap. See: Tight Wad.

- I dont care if you leave the toilet seat up. I need it down, you need it up. Big Deal. Why is the way I want it supposedly the right way? I do think everyone needs to put the whole lot down- lid and seat, just cos it looks tidier. But Im not gonna go all medieval on any males ass for leaving the seat up. You know what I do? I put it down and get on with my life.

- I four pairs of shoes I actually wear. 2 pairs of boots, orange Mary-Janes and some thongs. I have some others, but I rarely wear them. I am the anti-Imelda. The Antimelda.

- I point out nice boobs to my husband. He appreciates it.

- I never wash my makeup off before bed. Whats the point? Im just gonna put more on tomorrow....

- Like most real girls, I do like handbags. But when I want a new one? I make it myself.

Made from recycled vinyl and fabric from Reverse Garbage

Are you a real girl? What IS a real girl?

Available link for download