Wednesday, February 8, 2017
For The Love Of My Marriage
For The Love Of My Marriage
Oh, unspoken expectations.
So since Im home with our little boy (Im sloooowly returning to work), theres been this shift thats occurred in my marriage. Prior to the birth of our son we both worked full-time jobs. Now, Mr. Fix-It works a traditional schedule and Im transitioning toward part-time-odd-hours-but-primarily-a-SAHM. And for the record, staying home and raising children is MORE than a full-time job. For real. I mean, sure, my "boss" took a 4 hour nap yesterday. But I also havent slept on my own schedule since...August? Literally at any given moment Im on call.
I digress...
So, when we both worked outside the home "equally" meal planning (or lack thereof) and housework were joint efforts - 50/50. Now that Im home, groceries, cleaning, laundry, etc are all mine. Im not complaining, per se, just observing. Its an unspoken expectation Ive placed on myself. (And the hubs doesnt seem too upset.)
The real point of this post is about meal planning, though. I dont care about dinner. Weird? Maybe. By the end of the day, I would be happy to eat a bowl of cereal, some strawberries, and a few bites of cottage cheese. In fact, thats what I ate most nights when I was doing the single girl studio apartment scene. (I was also at my thinnest then. Just saying.) I really have little interest in cooking a whole meal that disappears in 10 minutes. And then clean up. Ugh.
Mr. Fix-It, on the other hand, is pretty rigid about his meals. I think the idea of skipping a meal gives him the shakes. Cereal for dinner? You may as well offer him cardboard. So, pre-baby, on the average night, at about 6:30 we would both blankly look at each other and wonder what to make for dinner. Mr. Fix-It would be annoyed that I didnt care, and Id be annoyed that "fend for ourselves" wasnt considered a desirable option. It was a frequent source of tension.
Lately Ive started doing this crazy thing. I meal plan. On Sunday I decide what were eating for dinner each night. I make a list of ingredients we need. We grocery shop. I either get dinner started in the late afternoon, or Mr. Fix-It and I cook together once baby-man is asleep.
So, dare I say it? Its actually enjoyable. I no longer feel like a domestic failure and Mr. Fix-It is thrilled that we eat like a normal couple/family. Score one for marital bliss.
So since Im home with our little boy (Im sloooowly returning to work), theres been this shift thats occurred in my marriage. Prior to the birth of our son we both worked full-time jobs. Now, Mr. Fix-It works a traditional schedule and Im transitioning toward part-time-odd-hours-but-primarily-a-SAHM. And for the record, staying home and raising children is MORE than a full-time job. For real. I mean, sure, my "boss" took a 4 hour nap yesterday. But I also havent slept on my own schedule since...August? Literally at any given moment Im on call.
I digress...
So, when we both worked outside the home "equally" meal planning (or lack thereof) and housework were joint efforts - 50/50. Now that Im home, groceries, cleaning, laundry, etc are all mine. Im not complaining, per se, just observing. Its an unspoken expectation Ive placed on myself. (And the hubs doesnt seem too upset.)
The real point of this post is about meal planning, though. I dont care about dinner. Weird? Maybe. By the end of the day, I would be happy to eat a bowl of cereal, some strawberries, and a few bites of cottage cheese. In fact, thats what I ate most nights when I was doing the single girl studio apartment scene. (I was also at my thinnest then. Just saying.) I really have little interest in cooking a whole meal that disappears in 10 minutes. And then clean up. Ugh.
Mr. Fix-It, on the other hand, is pretty rigid about his meals. I think the idea of skipping a meal gives him the shakes. Cereal for dinner? You may as well offer him cardboard. So, pre-baby, on the average night, at about 6:30 we would both blankly look at each other and wonder what to make for dinner. Mr. Fix-It would be annoyed that I didnt care, and Id be annoyed that "fend for ourselves" wasnt considered a desirable option. It was a frequent source of tension.
Lately Ive started doing this crazy thing. I meal plan. On Sunday I decide what were eating for dinner each night. I make a list of ingredients we need. We grocery shop. I either get dinner started in the late afternoon, or Mr. Fix-It and I cook together once baby-man is asleep.
So, dare I say it? Its actually enjoyable. I no longer feel like a domestic failure and Mr. Fix-It is thrilled that we eat like a normal couple/family. Score one for marital bliss.
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